If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops