"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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well now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops