What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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