Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops