Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops