What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What's the new green? Green

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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