joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops