If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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NEVER

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops