What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

Donald Trump.

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

what do you call your mama at the gas station

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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