Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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