Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Hello penis

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...