What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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