A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

Wanna hear a joke? no

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

Knock Knock The doors already open

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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