Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Women's rights.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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