Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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