What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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