My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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kkkk

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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