What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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HELLO BENJAMIN HELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMIN

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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