What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

What's worse than this That :(

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

You wanna see something really scary?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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