Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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