Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

kathryn atkins

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops