Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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23

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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