Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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What's 9+10? 19.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops