Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Justin with a hat.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops