While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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