Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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