A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops