what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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BIG MAC'S

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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