The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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womens rights

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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F? No k

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my egg roll

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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This is a joke.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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