What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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White men's rights

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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