Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops