Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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mexicans fishing

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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