Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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69

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops