How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops