What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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