what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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