What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The Oakland Raiders

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

911 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops