How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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