What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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