Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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13 =B you just learned something

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Sam Hengal.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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