The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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