What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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69

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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Microwave

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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