A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

G

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops