An epileptic man attends a rave.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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