Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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