Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

justin beiber sucks

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...