What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops