What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops