why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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