Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops