How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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