Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

One time i was sitting down

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

they told me not to write here but i did

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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