why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Atheism

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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