Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Bob Saget

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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