A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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sfdg

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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