Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Cheese

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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